Depression and Suicide

To Be and To Have; a return to the values of being
to counter Depression and Suicide…

Suicide is very prevalent, too prevalent within our so-called evolved societies.

As a physician working with people suffering from ‘pained souls’ that often present through dependencies, addictions and other behavioral diffficulties, I have had the opportunity to make observations that suggest that we can understand suicide from another perspective.

What follows is the expression of a dimension that compliments my medical and scientific training, I do not seek to deny advancements made by science concerning the treatment of depression, but rather to open a window out towards other horizons to be contemplated.

Suicide: Sui-cide can be defined as taking one’s own life or killing one’s self.

Can we imagine it being more than that? Should we consider ‘Killing one’s Self’ instead of just killing one’s self?

Often, in my experience, human beings who ponder taking their own life, are often feeling that they are not living and feel a little bit dead already.

These people often want to end an unbearable feeling and wish to put an end to to the state of suffering that they find themselves in. They often express that they feel that life isn’t worth living; Worth the effort? Worth the sadness? It appears to be often the case that both in their minds seem to be difficult to confront.

In order to better understand, we should start at the beginning.

We are presently living in consumer societies. To consume is essential to life: we are required to consume air, water and food.

It is however true though that not all things are accessible through the act of consuming. In fact, the very essence of life is not. Let us analyse the origins of the word ‘essence’.

Esse-ence: Esse = To Be in Latin, ence = internal; so we are speaking of the ‘internal being’.

In those consumer societies that have tipped towards exaggerated consumerism, the things to Have are sold as holding the answer to our internal beings needs. We have been sold the idea that Being can be fulfilled by Having. If I own such a product then and only then do I become someone!

The roots of this go very deep: It used to be that when we would inquire about the well-being of someone we would ask ‘How are you?’, the verb ‘To Be’.

We have allowed our language to degenerate into: ‘What’s going on’, ‘What’s up’, ‘What are you going?’ and ‘What do you have?’.

So should we be surprised that societies lost in exaggerated consumerism incite their members to invest in their ‘well-having’ instead of their ‘well-being’?

Of course not.

Shakespeare wrote: ‘To be or not to be’

St-Exupery wrote: ‘What is essentiel is invisible to the eye’… lets take this furthur: The internal Being is invisible to the eye. That which is invisible to the eye cannot be seen – visor…voir (French)… a voir… To Have. Thus what St0Exupery was really saying was that ‘To Be is not To Have’.

The fact that Being remains invisible is important: we drift away from the material world. We are truly nascent (born) in the spiritual and existential planes as well as the physical ones.

The spiritual world is one of concepts that transcend the material world and where physical understanding does not always apply. The rules appear to be different.

Let us look at the values of Being:

Lets start with the word ‘Value’.

Val-er in Latin means Calm.

Eur in Greek means To Be.

So Val-eur or Val-or means Courage.

So Courage is the Roman and Greek cornerstone for Value of Self.

The basic Values of Being are:

Courage,

Calm-Peace,

Humility-Humanity

Honesty,

Love,

Generosity,

Respect,

Loyality,

Faith in our values.

These values do not answer to the laws of the physical world and are difficult if not impossible to measure by science. They aren’t limited. For example, I could choose to be courageous, but so could everyone else. The pie is unlimited. Time will not degenerate basic values, but rather most would agree that the longer they are maintained over time, the more valuable they are. Values cannot be measured directly, let me explain: just as the strength of an individual will depend on the weights that he has lifted, the courage of an individual will depend on the weight of the fears and anxiety he has confronted.

In this way it becomes clear that each value comes into being through the confrontation of opportunities.

Percieved risk, danger and fear provide the opportunity for Courage.

The storm and conflict provide the opportunity for Peace and Calm.

Our imperfections create the opportunity for Humility and Humanity.

Easy gains provide the opportunity for honesty, loyality and faithfulness.

Differences provide an opportunity for Love.

Needs provide an opportunity for Generosity.

High positions create opportunities for Respect.

There is a trap around Values, a trap that must be avoided at all costs: it’s name is judgment.

No one can measure the obstacles, spiritual weights or opportunities that others have before them. Passing over a bridge might represent nothing for one person and be a terrifying experience for another. This does not mean that the latter is not courageous when mustering the bravery to pass.

Therein lies another crutial difference with the material world: Values never depend on outcome. In order to achieve success, all you have to do is try.

This is true for all of the opportunities listed.

Succ-ess = trials of Being

To try to Be is to Be.

It reminds me of the Wizard of OZ; Dorothy is told that it suffices for her to try to get back to Kansas in order to get back from where the storm has taken her.

So what is to be done with all of this, you ask?

Our consumer societies are at a crossroads just as individuals have always had the opportunity to be sometime during their lives.

A new Renaissance is offering itself to us.

Not only are many of our individuals been caught in the storm of depression and suicide but it would seem that our societies have been traveling that road also. Seeing that the society consists of those individuals collectively then it stands to reason society shall turn around as its’ individuals do so.

We must return back to the basics of who we are: Human Beings not Human Havings! What values do we believe in, will we invest our time and energy – our lives, upholding. These should be the first investments, they have been neglected and it would appear that those who voiced these values in the past are not as heard as in the past. If we collectively adjust ever so slightly our vision to behold what cannot be seen, if we choose our language a bit more carefully and if we choose to raise ourselves and our children up through basic values of being then our world becomes a better place to be. Our collective Self-Esteem – or the Estimate of the Value of the Values that constitute our Selves, shall rise and the thoughts of suicide will become more distant.

Riches are probably a constant – the law of the conservation of energy probably applies: it remains up to us, each at an individual level to decide how much room we wish to accord to the richness of being and the richness of having.

Be and you shall Have. The opposite never holds true.



John P. Sader MD
June 2009